How to tell partners about an STI, even anonymously

Just found out you have an STI? First: it happens, it is common, and most are very treatable. Next comes a step that matters a lot: telling your partners. It is not always easy, so here is how to go about it.

Why it matters

• Many STIs cause no symptoms: your partners could be infected without knowing.
• Telling them lets them get tested and treated quickly.
• It also avoids the “ping-pong” effect: getting treated, then reinfected by an untreated partner.

Who should you tell?

It depends on the infection and how long you may have been able to pass it on. The doctor or clinic that diagnosed you will tell you how far back to go: sometimes a few weeks, sometimes several months.

Three ways to do it

1. Tell them directly, in person or by message. Often the simplest with a regular partner.
2. Send an anonymous message. Services such as previensmoi.fr (in France) let you text a partner without revealing who you are. Similar services exist in other countries.
3. Get help from a professional. Sexual health clinics can support you in notifying partners.

What to say

No need for a long speech. The essentials: which infection, the need to get tested, and where.

“Hi, I just found out I have chlamydia. We had sex recently, so I wanted to let you know: it often has no symptoms. You can get tested for free at a sexual health clinic.”

Stay factual and kind: nobody is “guilty” of having an STI.

During treatment

• Take the treatment to the end, even if symptoms go away.
• Avoid sex or use protection for as long as your doctor advises.
• Your partners should be tested and, if needed, treated before you have sex together again.
• For some infections, retesting a few months later is advised to rule out reinfection.

Managing it with heatmeUp

In the health module:

• record the STI, with its incubation and testing windows;
• automatically find the partners from the risk window;
• note who has been told, as you go;
• open previensmoi.fr with a prepared message to notify anonymously.

The app sends nothing to anyone: you decide, and everything stays on your phone.

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Sources

1. World Health Organization (WHO) — Sexually transmitted infections
2. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) — Partner services
3. Santé publique France — Sexosafe

ⓘ This guide is for information only and does not replace medical advice. If in doubt, talk to a healthcare professional.